Party Like a Rave Star, a Rock Star and a Gang Star

Traditionally, I don't do much in December. Instead I take the opportunity to recoup energy and reflect upon that passing year in order to decide what to change for the coming year. One change I won't make : Cutting back on Massives.

Underground parties are more like Independent Films and rely on creative solutions to small budgets, while Massives are the Multi-Million Dollar Mega-Budget Blockbusters of the party scene. They count on A-List Talent, Enormous Crews, Super-Sized Visuals, and Highly Evolved Marketing Strategies.

And just like any properly hyped Blockbuster, Massives also include super long lines that wrap around the block (hence the term "blockbuster"). The solution? V.I.P. Tickets!!! Getting in through the V.I.P. Line took all of about 10 minutes, cameras (normally not allowed) were A-Okay and even the security seemed a bit friendlier. We were also allowed access to the back of the Main Room Stage, so what's not to like about partying like a Rave Star??

Better yet, being V.I.P. meant that we would get free drinks all night long, or at least enough free drinks that I would be obliterated beyond the point of wanting more by 2 a.m. when the drinks would stop flowing from the open bars. Moderation was not happening, drinking was. This was the Rock Star portion of my night, minus cocaine and hot-slut-groupies. Typically, I drink in careful moderation but was now whistling a different tune. Specifically, when I challenged the Raver know as "Cheeseburger" and a few others to a simple drinking game called "1-2-3, Drink!" To play, all you need is a drink. Then just say "1-2-3, Drink!" and see who finishes his drink first. The best part is that the game remains easy to play even after one would be too drunk for the complexities of a Card or Dice Game.

I do however remember finally getting some answers to a question that has been on my mind lately. As we all know, First Base is when you kiss someone. Second base is grabbing or sucking on a breast. Third is oral sex or at least a hand job. Home Run, everyone knows, is intercourse. But what is the sexual equivalent of a Two Run Homer, a Three Run Homer, or a Grand Slam? Well, here is what we came up with at our table. 2RH is anal sex while a girl is sucking the dick of another guy, AKA an Eiffel Tower. 3RH is when a guy is fucking a girl (any hole) while sticking the fingers of his left hand in a second girl and fingers of his right hand in a third girl, hence Three Run Homer. Finally, according to Cheeseburger, a Grand Slam is when a girl has two dicks in her pussy and two dicks in her ass, a total of four dicks.

I remember a bit of J Magik's set before midnight, but honestly, I was so hammered that we will have to skip the intelligent DnB review paragraph.

According to Christy, it was almost midnight and time to go back to the main room where we could watch indoor pyrotechnics and say goodbye to 2006 once and for all. There was a quick countdown and "bang" it was now 2007. What is there to say about 2K6? As a society, we all became a bit more diluted on Youtube, snapped out of a freakish religious right era, and watched as the leaders of homophobic groups revealed that they were actually closet fudge packers. We realized that nobody really has any idea what to do next in Iraq and learned that war is shitty, a lesson we will probably remember for a dozen years. As for the rave scene, things were good, don't you think? Some good times at the Alexandria Hotel (Reset, Give Love, ABTS), some decent Jungle at Bassrush, the best EDC since 2000, an even better Nocturnal Wonderland, and best of all the visit to San Francisco for the Love Parade, the most fun I have ever had. Another year of raving and I still fucking love it. The next two hours consisted of walking around inside, marveling at the incredible visuals in the main room, catching a bit of the Diesel B. set, but mostly listening to House. The outdoor House Music Tent, filled with fresh air and funky records, gave me a chance to move and groove and to enjoy the party for the most basic of reasons.

Suddenly it was 3:30 and we had been at TAO for six hours (we got in at 9). Time to go back to the hotel and get some sleep.

Normally, this is where the story would have ended, but astute readers will notice that nowhere did I party like a GangStar…

SOOO…. As Christy and I look for a cab to get back to the hotel we meet another couple looking for a ride to the hotel across the street. "Lets share a cab." I proposed, and so the four of us went to look for a cab to share. Outside the Sports Arena, Eric and Sarah go out on a limb and ask the driver of a white stretched Hummer Limo for a ride back to the hotel. He says he will take all of us for $30, which was as much as the last cabbie wanted to take just Christy and I back to our Hotel in a regular cab! We pile in and to my surprise, who should be in the limo but five practically naked teenage girls. Apparently one of the girl's parents was "DJ Epic" and the parents rented a Limo so they wouldn't have to risk driving. Chillin' in a Limo with seven hot girls, five of them in lingerie, is as GangStar as I ever want to be and a damn good way to start any year.

Eric and Sarah came back to our place for a nightcap and we talk about parties we have been to and those yet to come…

And to all the ravers, Happy Fucking New Year!!!!